They aren’t QUITE as ELUSIVE as they can seem!
Nikki is single, she appears to be available and she is fine fine super fine!
…As she so daintily sips her Daiquiri.
She and Ken accidently brushed shoulders earlier.
They both smiled and cordially apologized.
She even gently gave his arm a squeeze.
She pleasantly said with a cute giggle,
“Oh! … I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
He acknowledged in kind and they went their separate ways.
In a few minutes Ken saunters over with his best Clooney and asks her to dance…
…Only to be rejected!
Politely, mind you, but denied, none the less.
Two songs later, Nikki’s out on the dance floor with someone else!
Now? All of a sudden? She fits the profile of any number of derogatory nick names?
I mean, Geez Ken, at least she could’ve told you she had a boyfriend!
And look at that guy! He’s not all that…
And guess what, he’s not her boyfriend either!
Not YET anyway!
Every woman has the right to pick and choose who she wishes to be with…
…All according to her personal tastes and preferences!
So, why not Ken?
Why would she decline Ken’s offer, and then accept someone else’s?
Ken is taller and arguably more handsome, to include his physique!
Even his clothes say, “Sharp”!
‘Mr. Else’…remember? His first name is ‘Someone’… had also encountered her earlier! And he too had recognized her fine qualities!
The difference between Ken and Mr. Else was that Ken, who initially had a pretty good chance, began making suggestive gestures for his buddies when he thought she wasn’t watching!
BUSTED and UNTRUSTED! Leaving her, DISGUSTED!
She actually was interested! Ken got busted because she just happened to be checking out his butt as he started his ‘shenanigans’…doing his “I’ve GOT this” charades!
So, instead, she saw right through him AND she didn’t find the disrespect amusing!
Mr. Else, on the other hand, realized that she was somewhat refined and from all appearances,
A ‘Lady’ expecting to be treated as such!
Later, if and, “When we get behind closed doors”, she may well be a tigress!
But for now, by her poise and demeanor, she is a ‘Lady’!
During his brief encounter with her, Mr. Else smiled, then casually and respectfully complimented her necklace and went on his way.
Both men had ‘planted a seed’.
“You reap what you sow?”
All women are different…in ‘some’ ways.
Have you accidentally or otherwise overheard several women talking about some guy?
“Oh! And THEN you know what he did?”
“No! Do tell!”
“Right when I was just about to…you know…he had the audacity to;
“Shhhhhh, they’re listening!”
“<pssst pssst pssst>”
“No WAY! You are kidding me!”
The third woman ponders, “Hmmm, he did?…mmm.”… As she *very subtly repositions.
(*Body language…learn to read it. It can sneak right by you in the blink of an eye!)
Woman #3? She might even engage in a conversation about the size of cucumbers on the produce isle if you use the right approach and catch her in the right mood!
“Trying to make the right impression on a woman with the wrong approach is like trying to start your car with your house key!”
Though, women share some general similarities with regards to likes and dislikes,
There are certain things that a woman looks for in a man that she uses to determine whether he is someone she is attracted to.
To some, it may go no further than his physical characteristics.
No man is all things to every woman.
A cold hard factor that also comes into play is a phenomenon called natural selection.
Aside from being similar in concept to the familiar term “survival of the fittest”, natural selection, as it pertains to this topic, strongly influences the instincts of desire.
While outward appearances are certainly involved in deciding who we find physically attractive, beauty and handsomeness are not the only factors.
“Beauty is only skin deep”? Sure…that cliché didn’t just appear out of nowhere!
As in the episode with Ken and Mr. Else, Mr. Else was obviously not a bad looking guy…he was acceptable to Nikki.
In fact, put Ken and Mr. Self on a stage in front of a panel of female judges and Ken would likely win hands down if it was a Mr. Buff Guy of the Week contest;
But when it comes to overall attractiveness…
…It’s less about the looks and more about the man!
Women like what they like!
But…do we take everything she says too literally?
“That girl loves chocolate! She said so herself!”
Try taking her to Peterbrooke for dinner a few times a week!
Then see how long before,
A) She no longer accepts your invitation to dinner!
B) She no longer fits in your Miata!
With roles reversed, I experienced a similar situation!
“I hope you like my lasagna…I even used Portabella mushrooms!”
“Oh!… I love it! And Portabellas?…They’re my favorite!”
“I know! I’ve heard you mention that!”
Within a month’s time, I would wake up in cold sweats from nightmares about being tied down while she shoved hands full of Portabella mushrooms in my mouth!
They are no longer my favorite!
So what does she want?
According to Men’s Health Magazine;
The number one character trait that women find desirable and should be reflected in a man’s persona if he is to successfully meet and engage a woman,
Confidence, includes self respect, self esteem and an overall feeling of comfort within one’s own skin.
And it shows!
Confidence is not to be confused with, arrogance and/or being overbearing!
A confident man smiles easily, not like “Smiling Bob” from the male enhancement ads, but comfortably.
False Vibrato is not a trait of a truly confident man.
He laughs appropriately, is considerate and consistent …he never breaks stride…
To elaborate briefly on ‘consistent’;
Let’s don’t confuse consistent with predictable!
‘Consistently unpredictable’, however, can be an interesting trait…
IF it isn’t overplayed! Think about it.
Finally, on ‘confidence’, ol’ rugged Jack Palance said it best in an Aqua Velva commercial;
He slapped the After Shave onto his leathery face, then, using just his disarming smile and merely three words, he said it all,
“Ain’t confidence sexy?”
There are other character traits women find appealing that tend to go hand in hand with confidence such as:
- Understanding (to include fairness)
- And last but certainly not least, experience!
He knows how and how not to treat a woman!
A confident man who conveys those traits through his persona and his actions…
…Is what many, if not most women consider a great catch!
The overall characteristics which comprise such a fellow, are well described in a song by Trisha Yearwood titled,
“That’s what I like about you!”
Check it out sometime! It’s a rockin’ country song!
She just wants a good and SEXY man!
As for a ‘sexy’ man? A sexy man is a man who makes her feel sexy in what ever way works best for her!
Jack Sparrow or Jason Bourne?
Tommy Lee Jones or Harrison Ford?
Sam Elliot or Mel Brookes?
I’ve asked around! The ‘rugged’ and the ‘handsome’ are neck & neck!
So, just looking for MS. RIGHT NOW?
…Or, Mrs. Right For Ever & Ever til….?
I couldn’t take it any longer!
LORD I was crazed!
When this feelin’ came upon me like a Tidal Wave!
I started swearin’ to my God and on my mother’s grave,
I would love you til the end of time!
I swore, I would love you til the end of time!
So now I’m praying for the end of time!
To hurry up and arrive!
Careful what you wish for!
If there are any ‘magic’ words that are sure-fired, stone cold guaranteed to make every woman who hears them succumb to a man’s every desire…
I’d like to know what they are!
The fact is…I don’t know if any such words even exist…in fact, I have serious doubts!
So instead, let’s take a step at time!
Our operative word here is…
In some settings, though still dependent upon the woman you spring this on;
… “Hey Baby…guess what I’ve got in my pocket and you can have a bite!”
…might actually get a rise out of an occasional woman…say…
…“Woman #3” (from above)?
On the other extreme, the “tingle” you might stimulate, could be that tingle in the,
Palm of her hand! (But then again, if she’s a slapper, hey…who knows!)
According to Dictionary.com…
Finesse is described as “Extreme delicacy” and “Skill in handling sensitive situations”
“Subtle action”, discriminating, tasteful, strategic, artful…
Finesse is not a strong suit for the typical bull in a China Shop!
Tact applies, as well.
For our purposes, while finessing includes ‘going with her flow’, it equally, means creating a flow of your own which she will willingly, preferably gladly follow!
Think about this:
Did you invite her into your realm, or did you invite yourself into hers?
But then “who’s zoomin’ whom” here?”
“Either lead or follow or get out of the way!”
May I suggest lead…when possible?
As long as you lead confidently and with finesse, she will follow.
If she begins to fall behind, you’re leading her in the wrong direction!
Go back to where she was and hopefully figure out where you took a wrong turn.
Hint: ‘No’ doesn’t always mean no…the first time.
Sometimes it just means;
“Not Yet!” or “Not right now!”
And at times, just a little gentle coaxing is all it takes to figure out it’s really NO!
“Oh my GOD! I’m not riding that ride!”
Is she just ‘being a girl’ or does she mean…I AM NOT RIDING THAT!
“Aw come on!” with a gentle tug in the direction of the ride entrance.
“Nope, she ain’t ridin’ it…and that is final!”
About those strategic ‘Magic’ words…
I approach this topic with extreme care not to suggest any under-handed gimmicks, but the truth is, in some cases, it seems we just can’t resist the temptation to;
“Test the waters!”
Okay, by now, she seems accepting, and the situation seems comfortable…
…She’s following, or at least allowing you to lead!
You make the call…do you drop a suggestive innuendo?
“Yeah! Speaking of the hot summer weather, how’s your ‘temperature’ about now?”
“Guh dunk, guh dunk, guh dunk…snort!”
An ill-placed or poorly timed or tackily suggestive ‘innuendo’ can be an instant:
IF and only if, you feel the time and the climate seem appropriate,
There are tactfully subtle phrases that you can likely get away with which may or may or not trigger a response…
Just as an example…
As innocently as is humanly possible…no smirks, no highbrow…
…Absolutely NOTHING to indicate anything beyond face value…
“Whew, it is really ‘packed deep and tight’ up in here tonight!”
“Wanna get some fresh air?”
Body language! Watch for it!
If there is even the slightest chance that she ‘got it’ she will let you know…silently.
At Asylum.com there is a much more in depth study of female body language entitled:
“A Guide to Reading Body Language”
The high points for this scenario include:
She may look away and blink to unsuccessfully hide her rolling eyes,
In which case…DROP IT! And remember, you didn’t mean anything!
She’s reading you, too! …And, she obviously misses nothing!
But that’s not necessarily a bad thing…she’s paying attention!
If she looks down and messes with her hair and maybe even exposes her neck that displays a coy vulnerability. ‘Submissiveness’.
She thinks and maybe even hopes she knows what you meant!
But, she’s not really sure because you played it so well!
What? You missed when she smiled seductively and nearly squirmed out of her chair?
Yeah, I missed that too!
If she agrees to go outside for a breath of air, you’re likely off the hook…safe!
It is case by case!
She may just come back with an equally provocative innuendo and;
Blow your mind!
If she makes any friendly physical contact en route to the great outdoors, she shows signs of wanting to be in your space!
If she responds favorably to any contact you may subtly offer, that’s a great buying sign!
She’s okay with you in her space!
But still, did she get it? At this point…it doesn’t really matter!
Things seem to be moving forward nicely!
A comedian from the 1940’s, Woody Woodberry, proposed a toast!
“I finally met the perfect girl, no man could ask for more?”
“She’s deaf and dumb and over-sexed…and owns a liquor store!”
CHEERS! …and happy hunting!
P.S. It’s fun learning new ways to interact with woman and UNDERSTAND them (as much as possible at least!). As guys, most of the time we PRETEND we know what they want and how they think. W-R-O-N-G. But you know that already don’t you! I personally love hearing it all from them…letting THEM teach ME. And if you are with me on this (are you?) go and read a great eBook called “Guy Gets Girl” at guygetsgirl.com.